Help wanted please

[grandad22]

I know this is a dream discussion forum,and im hoping you can all help us on this one please.

myself and my wife,looked after our grandson for 5 and a half yrs,and his mum wanted nothing to do with him,rightly or wrongly he called us mummy and daddy as he grew up around our older children.last month on the 16th of september his biological mother came to our home with the police and social services here in the uk and took him,just because she is his biological mum.

well we have had visits with our grandson,and each time he sees us he asks when he is coming home and runs to me at the end of each visit crying and wraps himself around me.it is very upseting for that little boy.the social worker failed to put this in her report to the court

we have been to court but because she is his biological mother,and she has social workers helping her,the court gave her an interim residence order until january next yr whilst things are looked into to more thoroughly.

what i want to ask is if anyone,has any dreams,or can help in anyway please leave a message we are just trying to find out if we get our grandson home where he belongs ,thank you.

[nvr]

Dear Family (Grandparents)
My prayers go out to you in the UK.  I doubt conditions are much better for we grandparents in the USA who have bonded with a precious grandchild who lives (or has lived) in our home.  I have a daughter who has a son (my only grandchild) who she has left in our care for most of his nearly 2 1/2 yrs of
life.  She got back socializing too soon I suspect, so what her "friends" were saying, and what she was intending (one or the other or both) carried more weight than what her older sister (who lives with me) and I had advised.  I had wanted her to afford herself the opportunity of staying home with her new baby for at least the first year to fully bond and cherish the time with him and deciding what she would do with her life as a single mother, as she was unwed & would not (or could not) name the person who she conceived by.
If I had been in her situation I would have praised God that I had the opportunity we offered her.  However, she interviewed for her first ever job, and took it.  Then one day after he had had his shots, he cried so that we called to ask if she could come home to assist us in trying to comfort him. 2 b continued

[nvr]

cont'd:  We were told she had just left for the day & when she returned home many hours later we confronted her, saying we should always be informed where is was & with whom & be able to reach her.  For a time of several months I asked her to leave us with a note at least, stating that we could get him medical care if the need arose.  She finally wrote it after she had been fired for reloading a gift card that had already been used once.  The police came to arrest her about 2 weeks later.  We paid to get her out of jail only to hear her say she had believed we were going to leave her in jail to teach her a lesson.  We have paid for everything since she returned home after running off to live with one of her church girlfriend's who lived with her single dad.  When she got sick, she came home & we nursed her back to health & then she left again for a shorter stay & at that time suspected she might be pregnant and decided to lie to us all & say she had been raped.  I found out the truth months after my grandson's birth accidently when she had just told me she would never lie to me again.  She was trashing old notebooks she had written in, and was enraged when I felt compelled to go see & read what she had put out.  She has threatened to take him to live wherever    & with whomever she has been with.  She is offended & hurt when her child calls her sister his mama.  He doesn't talk well yet so cannot speak for himself to say what he wants, so you are lucky that your grandchild can at least express that he wants to be home with you all.  I hate to seek custody or guardianship, but she has told us she will eventually take him when she can .  She hurts  by saying "everyone" tells her she should never bring him back to visit here once she "has him."  I am disturbed that she has so little regard for the impact her unwise behavior has on her son. She is now living with a male & female in their apartment.  She came over for part of Thanksgiving and returned for Christmas Eve. to leave mad, in a hurry to leave again so that she only stayed long enough to see him open her gifts.  Have you all ever sought guardianship?  Have authorities confirmed he is well cared for, at least?..not in danger.  Please if you wish write me by email at thinkN2know@yahoo.com.   as it has taken me ages to write here..Another Grandparent & concerned family hoping to get help.                             

[nvr]

Again...sorry...Of course the child wants to be with those who have provided for him the love and security and provision every child needs.  I was wondering whether or not the birth mum is your daughter.  Why is the social worker intent on helping her, and what is mum's motivation for now taking him?  It seems your grandson's only chance of being able to stay with those who have served as his parents (and you are to be applauded for the love and care you gave & continue to give him on your visits,) is that you get a good lawyer to represent your cause before the court date.  I would gather documentation of your continual care and her past attitude of (I would call it) abandonment.  Is the mum around for his visits with you, or is he able to be alone with you to know he can share his concerns & (God forbid he has any) fears with you?  What questions has the social worker asked the child or has she shown a predisposal to only get for the birth mum what she wants.  Do you fear for his safety?  Has the mum ever been in trouble, been on drugs, and can she provide for the nourishment of all his growing needs, spiritually, monetarily, socially, and in regards to his health & education.  Where in all of this is the one who would be considered his "birth? dad?  Please respond, and meanwhile I'll pray for insight.  Perhaps there should be a data base for documenting the total of days the  " birther/s" have opted out of their babie's lives.  I hate the opinion that sees it  the child's duty to just adapt. I'd also ask the court to provide testing to determine if she is emotionally Oh, also I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to get character witnesses , those who would have observed your care of your grandchild.  What is the residence the government is providing her with?   Love and prayers  will continue.  Does she have other children?           [email]

[nvr]

dear concerned grandparent, it's me again..I decided to check out Google by entering "interim residence order in the UK"  On the results I found one of the sites a birth mum asking about the possibility of her keeping custody after having child for 7 months.  Her question was responded to by legal advisers (I'm not familiar with UK terms) by a site which was entitled something close to ...Just ask   I'm sure you'd be able to find one of the first page's websites  something that would be reassuring.  Although US laws may differ (I don't know yet if they do or not) they apparently have newer laws put in place to assure that the main consideration would be given to what was in the best interest of the child.  I just noticed (after rereading your post) that he was also able to interact with your older children, which I assume would provide you with a further network of caretakers and him with a broader family network of loving family that he is presently going without.  Even if the birth mum has a sound support system to help if she were to get sick or such, they would not likely be ones who the child would have be as familiar with.  It seems the child needs not only consistent and loving care, but the absence of conflict, and being witness of even family conflicts especially when there is a background of abusive interactions which are more apt to continue or worsen if either he, his birth mom, or others  around have exhibited or experienced or seen others abused.  Please update or contact me email at thinkN2know@yahoo.com, because the lines keep flipping so I cannot view what I am typing in ..so please excuse any mistakes.   

[Two-fold Universe]

Sympathise with situation but this isnt relevant AT ALL to this forum. Its just "forum clutter". Suggest you use private message after 1st contact?